Friday, March 19, 2010

Anxiety and running

So I’ve been running with some kind of consistency for the past two years now. I would think that I would feel comfortable whenever I knew I was going to for a run. But that is not the case. Every single time I run I think I am going to fail or I doubt my abilities. I just noticed on my Polar Heart Rate Monitor/Running watch that I have run over 250 miles since May of last year. It may not be a lot compared to a lot of other real runners, but it is more than I ever thought I could. And maybe that’s where this anxiety stems from. For 28 years I never had even a thought of trying to run for long distances. The only running I would do would be on a basketball court. Must be just force of habit to think that I cannot finish? Over the past two years, I have constantly pushed my limits with running. In 2008, my goal was to run a 5K and I was successful. In 2009, my goal was to run a 10K and maybe longer. I was able to get up to 15K in training, but couldn’t run the 15K race because of the damn H1N1 flu...grrr. And now this year...the marathon. I AM going to finish it in October. But till then before every run, a tiny part of me doubts my abilities to finish the training session. Whether it is tempo run or speed run, I am just not fully confident in myself. It is a very odd feeling. Normally I am confident in my life, but running constantly makes me question myself.

What do you think of this? Anyone have any suggestions or tips?

3 comments:

cj said...

if you ever get anxious, chunk up your runs. so a 6 mile run just turns into three 2mile runs. or a 10 mile run turns into two 5 mile runs. running is 90% mental, and whatever you can do to trick your brain helps!

markemmanuel said...

I get instances like that. Great athletes feeling self doubt and anxiety. Runner's World had an article of Kara Goucher's state of mind.

Times self-doubt flair up are usually after family gatherings. There's a lot of negative energy there. I tend to make me presence and keep it short before they say anything negative to me.

I did my first marathon because I wanted to prove to myself I can finish something and put the work into finishing well.

What do I do to get over the anxiety and self-doubt? More running. Sometimes, sometimes my brain finally convinces me stop but I negotiate with its dark side to do a brisk walk. I try to push back with more running. Then, I remind myself that I've done a 5k in the past or an 8k. I also start introducing a mantra/prayer to get me go break out of the funk and get back running. Positive self affirmation. Positive reminders. Giving negative vibes the positive middle finger. That's what I do.

deekin said...

Thanks guys for the support!
CJ - That is EXACTLY what I do when I start out my runs. I just think I have to get to the first 2 miles and then I'll go from there.
Mark - I read that Kara Goucher article in Runner's World too, and to be honest, I think it may have actually made my anxiety worse, LOL. She's a world-class runner and SHE'S having doubts? Man, I'm in trouble! haha. You are absolutely right with the MORE running idea. I normally don't like running more than 3 times a week, but maybe every so often I'll get a 4th shorter run in just to calm my nerves between bigger runs